Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Why Frodo's Journey to Destroy the Ring of Power Wouldn't Work Today

I'm pretty sure that most of you are aware of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. If you haven't seen the movies, you've at some point heard the story of it... probably. Maybe not. I'm going to assume, for the sake of this post, that you have.

I'm pretty sure that Frodo and the Fellowship of the Ring would've failed miserably if they had to take their journey today. You know why? Four Square... Twitter... Facebook.

The Fellowship would've looked something like this on Facebook.
Frodo's FB Status Update would read: got a ring from my uncle. It doesn't heat up. Gonna take it to Mt Doom to destroy. Maybe I'll take it to a pawn shop instead LOL!

The comment thread would look something like this
Samwise, Merry, Pippin and four other friends Like this

Samwise: Mr Frodo, I'll totally go with you after I get done planting some pipeweed.
Merry: and by "planting some pipeweed" he means "masturbating to Rosie"
Samwise: Shut up, Merry!
Pippin: Yo, F, let's all go. I know a dope bar called the Prancing Pony we can go to and get pints!
Frodo: @Merry LOL @Sam-meet me at my house when you're done (wash your hands
first;-P) @Pippin- forealz? Is there a cover?
Smeagol: That sounds like fun, Precious
Frodo: Precious? Who the f*** are you? Who the hell is Smeagol?
Smeagol: No, Precious, We were friends with your uncle Bilbo, Precious. I'm an old family friend.

-Frodo has blocked Smeagol-

Smeagols FB Status Update: We've found the precious!
Comment thread:
WitchKing Agnar: I'll ready the Nazgul
Sauran: I'll send my army of Uruk-Hai. Where did you say they'd be?
Smeagol: Precious didn't say they would be at the Prancing Pony
Smeagol: Sh!t...

Later that night...

Frodo Update: Frodo has checked in to the Prancing Pony w/ @ Samwise, @Merry, @Pippin and 23 others

Next Day: On Twitter Feed for @MiddleEarthNewsShire: 4 local Hobbits found dead, hacked to death by ring wraiths. Authorities say they were tracked online and slain in their sleep.

End of story...

Moral of this story? Four Square is a stalker GPS. So next time you decide to tell everyone you're jogging, alone, at some remote lake...

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