Poncho and the Creepy Thing

There are all manner of creatures that give us the willies. Creepy-crawlies, spiders, spider webs, silver fish, joom bugs, stink bugs, centipedes, millipedes, snakes, ugly dogs, Kerry Steigerwalt's eye...

So here I am, the lone man amongst many women. The 6'5" 225 pound former Infantryman, one time bouncer, one time practitioner of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Shi Do Kan Karate. The go to guy in my house when something creepy walks up the wall or across the floor. Let me tell you, coming from a family that is genetically predisposed to cringe at the sight of spiders, this is not a fun position to have. Spiders freak me out. Watching those 8 legs move independent of each other is just skin curling. I almost always have to fast forward through the scene in the Return of the King where Sam and Frodo encounter Shelob, the tarantula.

So you can imagine my trepidation when my then 4 year old daughter screams, runs out to me and says "Daddy! Poncho's creepy thing!"

Ummm... what is that supposed to mean? Did my little Rat Terrier, Poncho, get attacked by spiders? Is he crawling with centipedes or fleas or mites or Kerry Steigerwalt's eye?

No...

Some say red rocket, others call it lipstick. My daughter called it "creepy thing". For some reason, my dog got "excited". So much so that it wouldn't go back in. He stood there, embarrassed look on his face, with his back hunched. He could barely walk. My wife began to laugh. We now knew what the creepy thing was.

WARNING: IT'S ABOUT TO GET GRAPHIC!!!

There was a knot toward the base of his "creepy thing" that wouldn't allow it to go back in. He began to whine as if in pain. I felt really bad for my little buddy. He even looked like he was embarrassed. It was as sad as it was funny. It took some work to get it back in but he is happy and healthy to this day. And every time I hear the word "creepy" I can't help but get a mental image of my poor dog, hunched over in embarrassment, with his lipstick stuck on the outside.

*On a side note, check out my friend Zoltan's comedy at www.zoltancomedy.com. As I did not outright steal his Kerry Steigerwalt joke, I was definitely inspired by Zoltan to poke fun.